Vandoorne Excited about the Inaugural Season

Danny Vandoorne, known mostly for his prowess in open-wheel racing, is excited for a new challenge here in the United States and has signed on to drive the #24 Tide Pod and Tostitos Oldsmobile to it’s peak potential. There’s nothing like getting trashed, downing a full bag of Tostitos, puking on your favorite pair of pants but then coming to the realization  that you have the power of Tide at your disposal to make everything better. Truly a dynamic duo of sponsors for the Classic Lotus F1 themed car.

Vandoorne is well known on the F1 Circuit for his up-and-down abilities on and off the track. He is probably the best driver on the F1 grid going left but he is equally as bad turning right so it evens out to an above average racer. Unfortunately, due to a neck injury suffered in an unfortunate incident in Vegas with a chick named Candy, Vandoorne now has issues turning his head to the right without popping a raging hard on which have greatly affected his ability to drive F1. Because of this, he is thrilled that stock car racing in the United States primarily involves only left turns.

Practice thusfar has gone exceptionally well as the #24 car piloted by Vandoorne took home the checkered flag in a practice race while in another race they finished just outside the top 5 despite at one point being in last place during the race. He graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering from Lehigh University which he will hopefully be allowed to use to gain an advantage over his stiff opposition.

All in all, it looks to be a fast, fun and freaky deeky race season and I’m sure other drivers and fans alike are itching at the opportunity to watch and race in some meaningful and significant races.

21 Comments

    • Absolutely. The variance is crazy but it makes for an exciting time because you’re never truly out of it unless you nuke your car on pit lane.

  1. Man, I can’t wait to be eating a bag of Tostitos, dipping them into my jar of queso, all on the while bumping your sorry carcass off the track and me finishing the race in the top spot!

    #Last2First

  2. Dan, congrats on a great “TEST” race and I’m sure you’ll have a great season
    Never get So Trashed you speak to Ralph about a Buick.
    Hopefully it’s a close competitive series and Cody and Dan’s Oldsmobiles are at the top of the leaderboard.

  3. “Stiff” opposition sounds like it might just result in unfortunate right-turn flashbacks for ya boy Vandoorne, that said — let’s hope he finds stock car racing a little less hard on the body than F1, eh?

  4. “There’s nothing like getting trashed, downing a full bag of Tostitos, puking on your favorite pair of pants but then coming to the realization that you have the power of Tide at your disposal to make everything better.”

    Fucking tide adds even in SCOR

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