Rubbin’ is Racin’

Well, that was a fun test session eh? I suppose if you own stock in the manufacturer who supplies the majority of the fields metal/fiberglass/etc materials that make up the bodies of the stock cars in the STSC you were poppin’ bottles and fuckin’ models because your yearly projections just shot through the fuckin’ roof. Based on the fan reaction on twitter, it seems like they got a good kick out of the complete and utter shitshow on wheels. Hey, we do it all for the fans so to see them so happy and engaged in pre-season testing for a brand new racing league bodes well for the long-term growth and stability of the sport.

On a personal note, remember to fill up your gas tank before the race. Unfortunately my pit crew’s low consistency rating rolled snake eyes on that one as I had to go in and pit just 2 laps into the 2nd (or was it 3rd, i’m not sure. I’ve needed vodka seltzers hold the seltzers bi-hourly since the race to numb the pain of defeat and blunt force trauma) lap. My entire pit crew was in the shitter from our pre-race “taco’s and tequila” event so by the time I left pit lane, I was already 3 laps down 5 laps into the race. Fun stuff. At that point, the outcome of the race from my point of view was basically decided and my goal was to get through the race relatively unscathed and to save my beautiful car from too much carnage. That sorta worked but frankly, I came out of it better than most with only minor damage thanks to the racetrack being more debris than actual blacktop.

Anyways, hopefully everyone is having a wonderful week thusfar and I look forward to seeing you all out on the racetrack again this upcoming weekend. Hopefully we can keep the “laps under yellow flag” below 50% this time.


  1. “”Hopefully we can keep the “laps under yellow flag” below 50% this time.””

    I mean…. all we need to do is stick it in Simulation mode instead of Arcade mode…

  2. I mean, I fired my pit crew after the first set of tests, and I’m thinking of firing this set as well. They’re slow, don’t know the difference between a tire and another tire, and they have tattoos. You can’t have tattoos on the race track.

  3. In the first test, I had to pit while green. How the fuck does that happen? There had already been like 30 laps under caution…did he not fill up or get tires on ANY of those? Also, was it really so urgent that he couldn’t wait the average 1.5 laps until the next caution?

  4. Never do ‘Tacos and Tequila’ prerace at any establishment called “Montezumas Revenge”..
    And based on the above the short fill gas mistake was a cover story for a driver that racing striped his suit.

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