A YouTube video circulating around the SCOR community today was discovered by representatives of NESN and Dunkin Donuts. The video supposedly shows a clearly inebriated Tigole Bitties, NSRS driver, talking about how Tom Brady, Quarterback of the New England Patriots, was not the greatest quarterback ever. “He’s no fahkin’ GOAT, he’s just some guy that got on the right team with the right coach and the right owner at the right fahkin’ time, bub.” Someone threw a can of Molson Canadian at him and it hit him square on the forehead, spilling half it’s contents onto his shirt. Bitties caught the half emptied can on it’s way to the ground, and drained the remainder of its contents into his mouth. “If Drew Bledsoe wasn’t hurt, he would’ve won it all and done exactly what Brady did until he ran out of runway too!” The video ends right after Bitties flipped off an elderly man and drew a pistol, but it’s clearly not a good look for the driver who’s trying to prove that he is in the top tier of SCOR title contenders.
As a result of this incriminating video, Bitties’ sponsors Dunkin Donuts and NESN have immediately pulled their sponsorship agreements with Bitties and have released the following statement.
“While we believe and encourage that everyone uses and is permitted free speech, we cannot tolerate the slander that Tigole Bitties spreads regarding New England’s Lord and Savior, Tom Brady. Tom Brady is Jesus Christ reborn, and without him, we are nothing. What Mr. Bitties believes in doesn’t align to what our our organizations goals with this agreement were. We wish Mr. Bitties and his race team the very best of luck for the remainder of the season.
On the other side of the coin, they say there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right? That’s the belief that Molson Canadian and Sig Sauer have. This video, which has since gone viral, has done just that for these two companies. Molson Canadian, the Canadian based beer by the Molson Brewing Corporation, jumped on this instantaneously when they heard Dunkin Donuts and NESN considering dropping the racer. They’ve agreed to become Bitties’ new primary sponsor effective immediately. When searching for a new secondary sponsor, Bitties’ agent elected to stick with what worked for them and find the secondary sponsor from the infamous video. Not long after that, Sig Sauer‘s advertising representatives reached out as Bitties brandished a Sig Sauer P320C at the conclusion of the video. They agreed to terms quickly to become the new secondary sponsor for the #8 team.
After all of this truculence and turbulence, the #8 Tigole Bitties team will continue to race this season with a new color scheme and sponsors. It’s unlikely that the NSRS will consider any supplemental discipline for Bitties’ off track adventures.