Cocaine Stumbles Early in Tier 1 Debut

Cocaine (90) wasn’t off to a good start after an early crash with James (84) on the first lap


My cocaine was turning heads when he announced his entry into the Martinsville Speedway almost immediately before the cut-off date, and his actions and sponsors paved the way for a lot of controversy. However, nobody seems to be turning their heads in his direction after the performance he put up Wednesday. Cocaine was involved in a multi car accident that occurred when #84 Rick James was rear-ended by #50 Doc Hudson, causing him to tailspin and collide with numerous other cars. Cocaine was able to continue on and eventually finish the race, however he finished dead last among all racers who did not retire from the race. During the majority of the race he was among the worst drivers, failing to gain any ground on those ahead of him, and being lapped by 25 other drivers during the course of the race.

“Worst performance of my career” said Cocaine of his match, which isn’t saying much considering this is also his best performance and shouldn’t really mean anything. “When I collided with James I think I just lost all sense of composure. Also my car really sucks.” Cocaine didn’t seem to think his skills as a driver needed any work, and is apparently continuing to look for more endorsement deals that don’t involve government entities. He also believes that the FBI has wire-tapped his car. Also there have been some rumors floating around that he may have an addiction of some kind, as his paranoia has been through the roof over the coming weeks.

The good news for Cocaine is he will have another shot to get his in the Kern County Raceway this upcoming Saturday, however with so little time there isn’t any guarantee he will do any better.


  1. Did I miss a deadline or something? I was supposed to move up after last season. In fact, many people were complaining for me to move up. I’ve been placing TPE in spots to benefit me in T2. What did I do wrong?

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